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I feel sooooooooooo depressed. I have no one to talk it over with, my fault. A freind once told me "you have to be a friend to have a friend", true I find. I seldom want anyone around so I have very little contact with friends until I need them. I am some piece of SHIT!! I dont even appreciate my 86yo mom, dont talk to her anymore than necessary and her voice just gets on my nerves, it's very gravelly because of her age and meds. People have told me I'll really miss her once she dies, but I'm not so sure. I am going to fry in hell. What is wrong with me? Depression is getting the best of me again, I am taking my meds but Thursday i've been in a downward spiral and dont know why.  I'm really thinking if things dont improve I will OD after mom dies, I have no interest in going on with this crappy life. I'm just sick and tired of EVERYTHING!!